kay everyone blogging about competition tmr. i also want!! hahaha kay i'll just make it a breeze.

kay so in a few hours time, competition begins. everyone is anxious, nervous, excited and many other undescribable feeling huh. i don't feel anything right now. lol, maybe not yet.

anyway, to adiratna babies, i love you all. being in this team makes me feel like i'm a part of you guys. thanks for the wonderful memeories, especially right now staying overnight with all the wonderful lovely people. i'll forever love you guys.

thanks all for helping me out in ragams, and correcting my mistakes. to those not in comp, its okay aites. you'll still be part of us and we appreciate your hardwork. love you! and those new like me, wheeeeeee to us. hehehehe.

kay kay, cut short, i love you guys. enjoying every moment spend and lets go girls! last lap, and the race is over. it's not about whether you win the race but more to what you get out of this race and just to have fun. its not the trophies that matters, its the effort put in an dthe friendship we build. we can di girls. let prove to abg and WD!

and paduka boys, you guys must all out too okay. we shall all do our best and lets have fun with all this. we believe in each other and thats all matters.so smile, be the best and keep your cool cause we know your own strength and weakness. good luck and all the best loves! so guys, love you all lots la!!!

kay now, go sleep!!!!


"

a few more hours left before i can finally relax and not have to think about my report and presentation anymore. and i hereby declare that CETE module sucks!



and because of this report, i only went to bed at 3.30am and then have to wake up at 6.30am and listen to mum nag! argh! so stress la this few days :( so little time to sleep and rest. then how to concentrate on studies? but mum blame on my having too much activities going on. not my fault also what. and she keep saying that i 'm wasting my time in my cca and that it's taking too much of my time.

yea mum is right, but still, i love being in dikir. i might messed up, but no matter what, i'll stick by and stay on. mum always say cca make me not concentrate on studies. lucky i prove her wrong when my GPA last sem was higher than 3. ^^v

anyway, need go off now. watching 17 again AGAIN! hahahahaa... ouh and yesterday i watch kabhi alvida naa kehna and it's freaking romantic la. i wish i had watched it with someone that sweet. and omg! if i watch it again, i'm gonna fall for shah rukh khan. cos he damn sweet please :D hahahaha... kay da... ouh and i ask muzammil what it means, he say it means "never say goodbye" then i teared in the bus lei!! hahahah...

kay got to go. love you all. stay happy, stay single kay hanis :D



"can't bear to see you happy with someone else"

how come seeing other people happy can be such a pain to you? how come all that you read are about relationship and how much a couple love each other? why so many of the available one got attached, just in a blink of eyes.

okay i admit, that maybe a slight jealousy is spotted, but what's wrong with that? i've been thru all that i need to go thru, from dumping people to being dumped, from being insulted to being truely love. and even so, i still can't confidently say that i found what i need to have.

aaahhh! whatevs.

anyway, thanks guys for being concern. aly, isa and fared, i'll be fine in a few days time. and i should just be clear okay. my dad is recovering, but he still in the hospital. don't ask me why, i'm not that sure. i'm just hoping everything would be fine. thanks for the care guys.

well, i should prolly be going to bed now. class starts t 9am later :( have a good night rest, i remind myself. ouh and i can't wait to see my 2COMT classmates tmr!! cos i wanna meet Nick! and the rest like jonathan and kevin, not forgetting Jet. ouh and the pretty nadiah that everyone i know praise (but seriously, she is smoking hot :D) and others too :D

hope tmr will be a better day. ouh, and hoping training can end slightly early please. i need go off earlier but i don't wanna miss anything :( anyway, cyaa soon aites. and shareena, hold on tight girl, the world's a roller coaster :)



"maybe i'm the barrier to my own happiness"

i want my dad!!!

everything around me just making me hurt so much. everything small things making me cry. i want my old life back. i want dad to recover fast so that i can pay up all he debt and all the things that i need to pay. i need dad to be back so mum wont be so lonely and so i wont be so lost in direction.

and i need no help from anyone. all i need is a pair of listening ear for me and i'm gonna be fine. i need my space, so much time i need! just bear with me for a few more days and i'm sure i'll get back to the proper start right?

i'm so frustrated. angry. sad then mad at everything! but to who do i let it all out?! i wanna scream. shout. but no one will ever listen. i want to bang my head against the wall. i want to hit and punch the next person who talks to me. i want to cry til my eyes hurt just so i can feel good. i want to take a knife and stab myself in the heart so that there will be a fast death. i want to tear papers and cuddly cute stuffed toys to let go of my anger.

i want to do so much! i just want to harm myself and bring pain, so that it drowns my sorrow. let me do what i want to do. AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



"POP THE PILLS AND LET ME GO"

currrently in library, just finish talking to syah. i mean communicating with syah without words. of course, he tries to make me speak, just like the rest :( hahha abut fun la with him. cos he make me laugh. hahhaaha and i spend 8pages of my communication notebook just to talk to him. and he will keep guessing while i write the uncompleted sentence. and even so, it was fun.

anyway, yea today i tried this Pledge Of Silence (POS): be the voice for the voiceless. and so far, been fun. yea i kinda broke the rule cos when i mouth the words i tend to whisper and it might get to loud. :P okay okay. enough said, thoough there is alot more to what i intend to say. i guess i'll updat eyou guys soon about it. maybe tmr?

and i finally got my KFC!! Fid craving is finally satisfied. hahaha and spending quality time with dearest classmates. only friday can fully spend time with them :(

my throat hurts from not talking at all :( it got dry, very dry :( need drink water but no one found my bottle yet :( how? my birthday present leii :( nvm2, must still persist in finding it. I DON'T CARE!! kay time for me to take my leave. cyaa all!


SYAH, HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!